Quiver & Quill

She’s hovered over the computer screen, enthralled by an instant messenger conversation with an online stranger. Her eyes brilliant and sparkling, body aligned with the keyboard. Any attempt to speak with her is futile. She’s intoxicated, transfixed.

Whether it’s with instant messenger, e-mail, text messaging or in online communities, people are falling in love online. That magical moment when love begins happens online too.

Sometimes online love it’s triggered by an inside joke, or discussing a shared interest. Other times, love forms when we project our feelings on the person with whom we are speaking: We mistake being heard for being understood. Then there are those moments when the online chemistry is perfect: laughter, e-flirting, a small nuance with language, a meaningful understanding which ignites deep attraction.

People describe this spark as something that happens only in person. Well it happens online too. It’s just much harder to achieve. I came across an excellent article to enrich our discussion by John Suler, Ph.D.

“1.4. Some people may experience text communication as a type of “merging” with the mind of the online other.

1.5. People experience the other’s text message as a “voice” inside their head.

1.6. Text communication restructures the way people think about their relationships and themselves.

1.7. People may experience text from their online relationships as being “pieces” of those relationships.

1.8. Some people experience their message as a piece of themselves.

1.9. Even though we may not be fully aware of it, we always develop a mental image of the other person in a text relationship.”**

Have you been sparked online? Do share.

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